Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson

Vampires cannot bear to hear Christ's name or any prayer, as it causes them physical pain.

Answers to the Name of God: A running gag.The shoe obsessed Betsy treats this as a worse tragedy than if both the Nazis and the Confederacy had won their respective wars. Her and Laura's travels through time cause, among other things, Christian Louboutain to not be born. Alternate History: In a minor way, though not to Betsy.All Women Love Shoes: Betsy isn't all women but she's neurotically obsessed with them.While the vampires are played completely serious, Betsy's bubbly personality takes the wind out of their sails. The series is a humorous jab at many popular vampire stereotypes. After attempting multiple times to kill herself, Betsy realizes that she is a vampire - not only a vampire, but queen of the vampires. Betsy loses her job and is killed in the same day (her 30th birthday), but awakes undead in a funeral home. Marred by a sometimes too-cute narrative, this novel lacks the substance of the work of Charlaine Harris or Marta Acosta, hurtling to a ''feel good'' resolution that may please Davidson's fans but will leave others wondering why this series continues to thrive.Betsy the Vampire Queen, properly known as the Undead series, is an Urban Fantasy book series by MaryJanice Davidson about Betsy Taylor. Betsy must care for her orphaned baby brother, BabyJon, and worry about Jessica, her seriously ill best friend, while trying to find the guests and groom before the wedding date is past. Then her father and stepmother are killed in an accident, and Eric and several friends go missing. Now she's a bad-ass vampire queen betrothed to Eric Sinclair, wealthy 70-something Vampire King. Sixteen months earlier, Betsy was a secretary dreading her 30th birthday. Vampire Queen Betsy Taylor discovers that even weddings with a $3 million budget can be a killer to plan, especially when cursed diamonds, a missing bridegroom, an unexpected funeral and sudden motherhood complicate things. Wishes come true with unforeseen consequences in bestseller Davidson's anemic sixth Undead paranormal romance (after 2006's Undead and Unpopular).

Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson